


When he's gone

by shenala



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 17:13:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15539094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shenala/pseuds/shenala
Summary: Infinity War spoilers.Reader-insert as they realise he's gone.





	When he's gone

**Author's Note:**

> I generally ignore that Infinity War happened but here's some heartbreak for you.

Suddenly, everything stilled. The deafening roar of battle simply dropped away and the air around you seemed to thicken. The fight was over, but something held you back from feeling any level of relief. At the edge of your consciousness, there was a sense of wrong. You weren't sure what exactly it was, but it was there; silently trickling into your awareness. 

"James?" You called out as you made your way through the dense vegetation to where you'd last seen your partner. Partner in crime. Partner in battle. Partner in love. He was the other half of you and as always, when the fighting stopped you immediately sought him out.

Before your attention had been taken away by your own fight, you'd briefly been able to appreciate just how magnificent he looked on the battlefield; with his reworked metal arm gleaming and his long brown hair flowing behind him as he dealt with his enemies effortlessly. But now you just wanted to make sure he was ok and breathe him in.

There was no response to your initial call, so you tried again, louder this time, "James, where are you love?". 

"Y/N? Is that you?" came the response from somewhere to your right. It was a James that had heard you, but not your James. "Sorry Rhodey, I meant Buck.. you ok?" you called back.

"Yeah, I'm just looking for Sam, we'll catch up with you".

Changing tactics as you kept walking, this time you shouted the name most people addressed him with, knowing that wouldn't go ignored, "Bucky! Come on you arse, where are you?"

Ahead of you, the vegetation thinned and you stepped out into a clearing that had obviously staged some of the battles. Seeing no sign of the man you were searching for, you turned a corner and as you did you saw Steve kneeling on the ground with Thor and Natasha close by.

Heaving a sigh of relief that the three of them were ok, you continued forward, "Steve! Have you seen Buck? I can't find him..." You trailed off as you saw the instantly recognisable shape of Bucky's rifle lying on the floor next to where your best friend was still kneeling, one hand pressed to the floor and a look of disbelief painted across his face.

Stumbling slightly, you moved closer, never moving your eyes off the weapon you knew as well as any of your own. Your voice breaking with burning emotion you addressed him again, "Steve. Where is he? What happened?" 

This time he turned his bloodied and bruised face up to you, tears building in his blue eyes before he dropped his head back to his chest and whispered, "I- I don't know. He just... right in front of me. I don't- he just disappeared. Y/N.." Unable to continue he choked back a sob as you collapsed forward onto your knees as grief coursed through your body like a bolt of Thor's lightning. 

How long you stayed in that position, with both hands pressed into the earth beneath you, you weren't sure. You barely registered when Steve drew the strength to stand or when Natasha knelt down next to you and put a careful arm around your waist as shuddering breaths continued to leave your body in tandem with the tears streaking down your face. 

It was only when she gave you a gentle shake that you moved your attention from the ground, and the lone rifle that still lay in front of you, and onto her as she opened her mouth to speak. "голубушка (darling).. come on, let's get up and then we can start working out our plan and what we do next. It'll be ok, I promise you. Come on, you have some cuts that need looking at."

Through the blinding mix of heartbreak and disbelief, you felt anger surge to the surface. Pushing Natasha away, you snapped back "Ok? Ok? Natasha, it will never be ok. Do you have a plan to magically go back in time? You're not Thanos. You don't have the stones. What can we possibly do to fix this?!"

Barely pausing to take a breath even as your lungs screamed, you continued. "Tony is who-the-hell-knows-where. Peter is presumably with him. Unless they're both dead, which we don't know and Strange is a mystery too. We DO know that Sam has gone, T'Challa as well. Vision and Wanda? Both gone. Clint could be gone and we wouldn't even know it. Thor has lost everything. And Buc-" you stuttered over the name of your lost love as a new wave of grief hit, "Bucky has gone.." 

Through your own pain, a small section of your mind recognised that this wasn't the first time Steve had said goodbye to his best friend and you reached out to lay a gentle hand on his arm as you whispered "again" before whirling back around to face Natasha.

"So please, Nat, I am literally begging you, what plan could we possibly come up with that would fix any of that?"

As expected your pleas were met with silence from the woman standing in front of you before she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around you to whisper in your ear "I promise, we can and we will, and until we get him back I'll be with you every step of the way". 

Another set of arms joined hers as Steve stepped up behind you to hug you close to his chest, as he added "me too.. until the end of the line."


End file.
